Monday, October 22, 2012

Curiosity Quills Query and First Page (Re-Post)

Hello, Super Villains and Minions! Below is my re-posted query and first page for the Haunted Writing Clinic and Contest. Thanks so much for taking a look!

 
Query
 
Dear Super Villain,


Implanted shortly after birth with a device that tracks her every word and move, Rynn 713 has learned to live a life of quiet rebellion. A Seller in the day, but a Cyber Hacker in the shadows, she is content with meaningless hacks for the best coffee and latest hairstyles, hiding behind stacks of illegal books and movies, and longing for the Book Seller next door, whom she can never have.

But when her friend and the disabled daughter she has been hiding away are brutally executed because of Rynn’s careless mistake, she can no longer blind herself to reality. And when the Seller’s District is raided and all their treasons are exposed, she and the Book Seller are faced with a choice: run, fight, or die. But how do you run when they know everything you say and everywhere you go? And how do you fight when the only weapon you have is a computer? In one move, Rynn is hurtled into an underground world where hope and passion are the only ways to survive and hacking is the only route to freedom.

CORRUPTED is a YA cyberpunk with a heavy dash of romance. It is complete at 77,000 words. Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Brianna R. Shrum
 
 
First Page of Corrupted
 
 
The tracker in my forearm began to beep at 3 a.m., yanking me from a peaceful sleep. I stared at it for a moment, wondering whether the GPS or microphone had prompted the warning. When the words, “…the gunpowder, treason, and plot…” came fuzzily through the television, I concluded it was not a malfunctioning GPS and panicked, leaping from my broken down couch to turn off the television. ‘How did it unmute?’ I wondered, frantically searching for someone besides myself to blame. My eyes came to rest on the loathsome remote, which I had apparently fallen asleep on, forcing the volume to rocket out of control. I never watched television…edit- interesting television… with the volume on, but chose to read subtitles, because any buzzword repeated too many times would undoubtedly trigger an inquiry and a Screener to monitor me for days, until The State realized I wasn’t a threat. Or worse, it could trigger a full-fledged investigation. If my house was raided, I would be dead in a heartbeat.

My heart stopped in my chest as, seconds later, my door was assaulted by heavy knocking. It seemed that someone had wrenched the oxygen from the room. This was it. I was going to die. The Enforcers would come in, find my stash of contraband, and shoot me on the spot…if I was lucky. My heart pounded against my ribcage relentlessly. It felt like little razors lined the inside of my throat, drawing blood with every ragged breath. I shakily climbed the steps to the main level, covering the opening to my hidden room with a floor tile and a rug, in case the Enforcers at my door were less than thorough. The barrage on my front door continued, and I stopped for a moment at the entry, took a gasp of air, and opened it.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

On Querying

The Evil Query Letter
 
The query letter. About which every writing blogger and his mother have written. But, for whatever reason, when the time comes to write said letter, we're ALL likeDarth Vader Nooooo
 
But, it must be done. So, you may panic for a second. 
 Panic GIFS
 
Now, stop it. Get thee to thine Scrivener or Word document and begin writing.
 
Step 1) Talk about your story. In like twoish paragraphs. Maybe three. But, seriously, agents are busy people. I tend to err on the side of too short if it's a choice between too short or too rambly. (Obviously, the best choice is perfect length. But, for those of us who are human, err on the side of too short.) IMPORTANT NOTE: This is not a synopsis. Repeat. This is not a synopsis. Don't sum up your whole story in two paragraphs. No one can do that without sounding ridiculous. All you have to do is get your character, possibly character's age, setting, main event that sets the story going, and super super important events/ characters. That's it. You can do that in a couple paragraphs. I believe in you.
 
Seriously?
 
 
2) Go ahead and do some personalization. (By the way, this applies to you, writer of "Dear Agent" at the top of your letter. At LEAST write the agent's name. Come on, people.) Just talk about why you picked this person to submit to. Hopefully, there is a reason, and you didn't just pick 800 random agents to mail your query to. Mentioning you're a blog or Twitter follower, that you are a fan of some book they represented, or something they said in an interview that made you think that this agent, specifically, could be the one for you. It can help you stand out. If you can't do it right, though, don't do anything at all. Odds are, this part won't make or break you.
 
3) The author bio. It isn't my favorite, because at this point, I'm unpublished. If you've got nothing, don't worry about it. Just leave it off. Most agents are totally cool with reading first time authors, and there's really no need to point it out in your query. BUT if you have relevant experience: publishing credits, short stories, magazine articles (that have to do with he subject matter in your book somehow), a degree in something pertinent, awards, membership in writing organizations...this is where you list that. NO MORE than a couple sentences, though. You're querying a book, not you.
 
4) Last-the stats. This should be short and sweet. Something to the effect of: Memoirs of a Muppet is a YA contemporary complete at 457,000 words and will appeal to readers of Kermit: Getting Froggy, and You're an Animal, Animal. The full manuscript is available at your request. Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.
 
5) Sign and contact info. (Name, address, phone number, e-mail, website.)
 
There you have it! Rejoice, for you have a shiny new query letter.
 
 
 
But wait! DON'T under any circumstances...
 
1) Write Dear Agent.
 
2) Send out a bunch of crap without researching first.
 
3) Send a query for something that isn't complete!
 
4) Ignore guidlines. They're not like the pirate's code. They're inflexible.
 
5) Pitch a 457,000 YA novel.
 
6) Say the words "fiction novel."
 
 
A more detailed post on how to do that ever important pitch section lata. For now, I leave you with this...
 
 
Tobias: So, fill each of these bags with some glitter, my photo, resume,  some candy and a note.
 
Casting Director or in your case, agent: Ack! The glitter queen strikes again! Never hire Tobias Funke!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Revised First Page for Curiosity Quills

Well, some wickedly wonderful super villains and minions stopped by and critiqued the first page of my manuscript: Corrupted. I have taken these critiques to heart. Here is the greatly improved result. Thanks to all! Especially to Krystal Wade for a fantastic line by line. All of you rock.


First Page of CORRUPTED
 
The tracker in my forearm beeped at 3 a.m., yanking me from a peaceful sleep. I stared at it for a moment, wondering whether the GPS or microphone prompted the warning. When the words “…the gunpowder, treason, and plot…” blared fuzzily through the television, I concluded it was not a malfunctioning GPS and panicked, leaping from my broken-down couch to turn off the television.

How did it unmute?

I frantically searched for someone besides myself to blame. My gaze rested on the loathsome remote, which I had apparently fallen asleep on, forcing the volume to rocket out of control. I never watched television - interesting television - with the volume on. I chose to read subtitles, because any buzzword repeated too many times would undoubtedly trigger an inquiry and a Screener to monitor me for days, until The State realized I wasn’t a threat. Or worse, it could prompt a full-fledged investigation. If my house was raided, I would be dead without question.

Heavy knocking assaulted my door and my heart stopped. The oxygen fled the room in an instant. This was it. I was going to die. The Enforcers would come in, find my stash of contraband, then shoot me on the spot…if I was lucky. My heart pounded relentlessly against my ribcage. It felt like little razors lined the inside of my throat, drawing blood with every ragged breath. I shakily climbed the steps to the main level, covering the opening to my hidden room with a floor tile and a rug, in case the Enforcers at my door were less than thorough. The barrage on my front door continued, and I stopped for a moment at the entry, took a gasp of air, then opened it.

Curiosity Quills 1st Page

~Pitch Live! Post here!~

Be aware, peeps, that I will eventually be posting blog entries that are unrelated to contests! I have 3 such entries, I promise! But not this one. This one is for an awesome contest.


Haunted Writing Clinic and Contest First Page
 
All right, all you minions and super villains from the spookiest writing contest around. Here be the first page from Corrupted. Do your worst!


The tracker in my forearm began to beep at 3 a.m., yanking me from a peaceful sleep. I stared at it for a moment, wondering whether the GPS or microphone had prompted the warning. When the words, “…the gunpowder, treason, and plot…” came fuzzily through the television, I concluded it was not a malfunctioning GPS and panicked, leaping from my broken down couch to turn off the television. ‘How did it unmute?’ I wondered, frantically searching for someone besides myself to blame. My eyes came to rest on the loathsome remote, which I had apparently fallen asleep on, forcing the volume to rocket out of control. I never watched television…edit- interesting television… with the volume on, but chose to read subtitles, because any buzzword repeated too many times would undoubtedly trigger an inquiry and a Screener to monitor me for days, until The State realized I wasn’t a threat. Or worse, it could trigger a full-fledged investigation. If my house was raided, I would be dead in a heartbeat.

My heart stopped in my chest as, seconds later, my door was assaulted by heavy knocking. It seemed that someone had wrenched the oxygen from the room. This was it. I was going to die. The Enforcers would come in, find my stash of contraband, and shoot me on the spot…if I was lucky. My heart pounded against my ribcage relentlessly. It felt like little razors lined the inside of my throat, drawing blood with every ragged breath. I shakily climbed the steps to the main level, covering the opening to my hidden room with a floor tile and a rug, in case the Enforcers at my door were less than thorough. The barrage on my front door continued, and I stopped for a moment at the entry, took a gasp of air, and opened it.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Pitch Live!

Title: CORRUPTED

Genre: YA Cyberpunk

Word Count: 77,000

(Note: I recommend maximizing this video so you can read the words at the beginning...unless you have a tiny-word-reading superpower. :-P  Also, if you just see a huge blank space, give it a sec. I swear the video will appear.)

Friday, October 12, 2012

The First Evah...Book Review!

~Curiosity Quills Query here.~

Huzzah! The first book review I've ever done! And this one, ladies and gents, is for a fantastic book I recently read called...

Jellicoe Road
by Melina Marchetta
 
 
Rating: 10/10 (Drat. Now you'll all think I'm one of those who gives perfect scores to everything...I'm not. This book was just ridiculously amazing.)
 
Okay, so basically, the idea of the story is this: it's a dual narrative, so the opening scene, which I believe is a prologue, (and quite a few more in subsequent chapters) is told from the perspective of someone from the past whose family got killed in a car crash on Jellicoe Road. :-( That whole POV, from beginning to end, is AMAZING. More on that later. The actual 1st chapter starts in a more modern time, from the POV of a girl whose mom abandoned her on the same road, hence the title: Jellicoe Road.
 
The story follows Taylor Markham, who lives at a kind of boarding school, as she deals with being the head of the school's secret society, piecing together pieces of her mysterious past, and trying to fight some undeniable feelings for a rival gang's leader: Jonah Griggs (sigh.) The other narrative (the one in the past) tells a fragmented story of a group of friends living in the same place years ago. Those parts almost have a "Stand By Me" kind of feel. (If you haven't seen "Stand By Me," what the heck are you doing on my blog? You should be watching "Stand By Me.")
 
At the beginning, it is rather confusing (though it helps when you realize that the prologue and 1st chapter are told by different people and don't have to re-read that second like 20 times...) but as the story goes on, you start piecing things together, and by the end, the result is fantastic. The romance, pacing, everything...I'm usually more nitpicky about these kinds of things, but I can't be here.
 
The mood of it is something I've never felt before in a book...like this great combination of nostalgia and suspense and peace and tragedy. There's no real way to put it. But, trust me. Read it! And the end was so beautiful, it nearly made me cry.  had to call up my brother and say, "Chase, I've just read a perfect book. Read it."
 
 
 
 


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

REVISED Query for CORRUPTED ~The Haunted Writing Clinic and Contest~

So0o0o0o, after some amazingly awesome minions stopped by and critted my query, I have put it through some major reworkings. Thanks oh so much to all of you! You're fabulous, and I <3 you. So, without further ado, here it be.

~The Haunted Writing Clinic and Contest~

Dear Super Villain,


Implanted shortly after birth with a device that tracks her every word and move, Rynn 713 has learned to live a life of quiet rebellion. A Seller in the day, but a Cyber Hacker in the shadows, she is content with meaningless hacks for the best coffee and latest hairstyles, hiding behind stacks of illegal books and movies, and longing for the Book Seller next door, whom she can never have.

But when her friend and the disabled daughter she has been hiding away are brutally executed because of Rynn’s careless mistake, she can no longer blind herself to reality. And when the Seller’s District is raided and all their treasons are exposed, she and the Book Seller are faced with a choice: run, fight, or die. But how do you run when they know everything you say and everywhere you go? And how do you fight when the only weapon you have is a computer? In one move, Rynn is hurtled into an underground world where hope and passion are the only ways to survive and hacking is the only route to freedom.

CORRUPTED is a YA cyberpunk with a heavy dash of romance. It is complete at 77,000 words. Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Brianna R. Shrum

Monday, October 8, 2012

Query for CORRUPTED

~The Haunted Writing Clinic and Contest~

Dear Super Villain,

Implanted shortly after birth, as all Citizens are, with a device that tracks every move she makes and listens to every word she speaks, Rynn 713 has learned to live a life of quiet rebellion. A Seller in the day, but a Cyber Hacker in the shadows, she is content with exploiting meaningless glitches in the system (hacks for the best coffee and forbidden hairstyles), hiding behind stacks of illegal books and movies, and longing for the Book Seller next door, whom she can never have.

But when her friend and the disabled daughter she has been hiding away are brutally executed because of Rynn’s careless mistake, she can no longer make herself blind to reality. And when the Seller’s District is raided and all their treasons are exposed, she and the Book Seller are faced with a choice: to run, to fight, or to die. But how do you run when they know everything you say and everywhere you go? And how do you fight when the only weapon you have is a computer? In one move, Rynn is hurtled into an underground world where hope and passion are the only ways to survive and hacking is the only route to freedom.

Thus far, most of my work has been written in the form of lecture notes on a chalkboard and speed-read by the victims, er, students in the middle school writing classes I teach. This is my first novel.

CORRUPTED is a YA cyberpunk with a heavy dash of romance. It is complete at 77,000 words. Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

 Sincerely,

Brianna R. Shrum


 

October Contest Craziness

Well, apparently, contest season is upon us, fellow writers! I entered Brenda Drake's fantabulous Pitch Madness contest a while back, and it was oh so fun. (Though my husbamd probably disagreed, as I was basically OBSESSED and could speak of nothing but said contest until it was over...and even still, when it was over, it comprised a large percentage of my talking points for a while...) So0o0o0o, I'm going to be entering some more contests in the very near future which look aMAZing. (Not necessarily entering all of these, but wanted to give a helpful list anyway ^_^)

The Haunted Writing Clinic and Contest- Helps and crits for creating your subs package and a chance at publication from Curiosity Quills? Yes please! Enter as a minion and get help from Super Villains. The fun starts today! (10/8) and subs start 10/31. Join the dark side.

Hook, Line, and Sinker- Bunches of agents, some awesome blogger/authors hosting, and a fun format!  *Contest Info Link here.*   *My pitch in zis contest up for critique here.*  (Subs on 10/13)

Pitch Live- No doubt the scariest contest on the list (fitting for October) is Pitch Live! Pitch your MS on video for the chance to get offers from agents! Here be the link. (Subs on 10/15)

Trick or Treat with an Agent- Trick or treat? Hopefully treats for everyone! Costumed agents, awesome pitches, and treats! Quick! Go sign up! Hither. (Subs on 10/24)

Spooktacular Pitch Contest- Two great agents competing for your pitches in the Spooktacular Pitch Contest! o0o0o0o0oh, spooky. Spook it.

Pitch On- Wanna get your pitch seen by an awesome editor? Then you should probably get your pitch on! Do itttttt! Get it on, peeps. (Subs 10/15)




Monday, October 1, 2012

Hullo, blogosphere.
I am attempting to figure out how to do one of these bloggy things, and am reasonably confident that, one of these days, I will figure it out. Stay tuned for some ramblings.