In Which We Discuss "The Culture That Cried Misogyny"

NON-WRITING-RANT BELOW

 

This post is gonna piss some people off. Which is why I never post these kinds of things. I’m a peacemaker, as a rule. But I’m also a little obsessive. So, when an issue comes up that’s been bugging me forever and always and pushes it over the edge, I can’t NOT say something about it.

This might seem like a blog post about Taylor Swift. And at first, it’s gonna be. But that’s not what’s really been making me insane. We’re gonna talk about this Taylor Swift-Amy Poehler-Tina Fey nonsense for a bit, and then get to the heart of the issue, which has nothing to do with them. (I also wanna preface this by saying I am NOT a T. Swift hater, or a hater of women. I love her music; I rock out to it, sometimes for days on end, to the dismay of my husband. I like the girl. So. Not bashing here. But…critiquing in a snarky way.) But first, the thing that set me off.

THE INCIDENT

So, basically, it went down like this. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler do a hilariously fab job hosting the Golden Globes. They do kind of a roast, wherein they make amusing little jabs at bunches of celebs there. Examples: “When it comes to torture, we trust the woman who was married to James Cameron for 5 years.” *Burn* “Anne Hathaway, in Les Miserables! Wow! We haven’t seen someone so alone and abandoned since you hosted The Oscars with James Franco.” *Franco Burn* “Quentin Tarantino is here, the star of all my sexual nightmares.” *Burn* You get the picture. Then came the infamous joke: “Taylor Swift, you stay away from Michael J. Fox’s son. You need some “me” time.”

All the other celebrities’ responses to the burns they received? Bahahahahaha, polite chuckles, riotous laughter, etc. Taylor Swift’s response? ~paraphrased. But not loosely. Look it up~I’m not some insecure, clingy, needy, desperate insane girlfriend. There’s a special place in Hell for women who don’t help other women.~ Yup, she wins this Zing battle. “Stay single.” “You guys are going to Hell.”

And whatev. Celebrities gonna celeb. I understand, all celebrities are crazy. What set me off was the response to this whole thing. Now everyone is all “Ermagersh why does everyone hate Taylor Swift? Why is everyone so SEXIST and MISOGYNIST?”

And I’m like:

1) No one is being “sexist” and slut shaming Taylor Swift.

Do we really think that people are always making fun of T. Swift just because she likes to play the field? No! We’re like “Get your date on, T! You have a good old time.” Taylor gets attention drawn to the fact that she’s dated every guy ever because SHE draws attention to it. Now, before you tune out, let me explain. Jennifer Aniston has dated a lot of guys. And nobody cares. Does anybody make fun of her for it? Nope. Why? Because she hasn’t made an entire freaking career out of bashing her exes. And not only does Taylor write bunches of music about her exes (which would be fine) she calls them out specifically in her songs. Dear John=John Mayer. Duh. When people weren’t sure who “Never Ever Getting Back Together” was about, she did a British accent so EVERYONE would know it was Harry Styles. Here’s the thing. When you date a bunch of guys, you don’t deserve to be identified by that or made fun of for it. BUT when you date a bunch of guys and make a career out of publicly shaming those guys specifically, you are asking to be made fun of for that. And it’s only fair, people. IT’S NOT SEXIST. Which brings me to the real point of this whole rant.

 

2) STOP declaring that everything is sexist and misogynist and that everything means that everyone hates women.

I hate sexism. I hate misogyny. It’s stupid and it sucks. But at this point, we throw around that word so often  that the word “sexist” now has about as much power as the word “popcorn.” For whatever reason, people have taken to declaring that all things are now misogynist. When a guy holds open the door for a girl? MISOGYNIST. I’ve heard a couple stories about women actually yelling at guys for holding open the door for them. ??? If a guy was holding open the door for you because he truly believed that you, as a woman, were too weak to do so herself, that would be sexist. But NEWSFLASH. Guys hold open the door for a girl because they want to be freaking nice. I, for one, happen to love that. When someone is considerate and respectful, it’s not freaking sexist; it’s a compliment! Someone makes fun of a girl for writing derogatory songs about all the guys she dates? SEXIST. Someone doesn’t support abortion? The only explanation as to why MUST be because they hate women. I drank orange juice this morning. Probably it’s because I hate women…Not everyone hates women. There are other motivations for doing things.

 

3) Last sexist thing: Women are always objectified, and that’s sexist! Frick guys, why do any of us watch The Vampire Diaries if not to objectify the guys on that show? Look.



 

When you see those pics, are you thinking “Dannnnng, he must have nice personality!” No. You’re thinking things I can’t post on this blog, just like I am. Every David Beckham commercial=Take your shirt off, David! Are women objectified on TV? Yup. Are men? Yup. Equal Opportunity Objectifiers. I objectify dudes. And frankly, unless someone is being gross or *only* thinks of me as a physical object, I really don’t care if someone thinks I’m hot and doesn’t immediately think of my winning personality. Whatever. I do the same thing to Hot Guy #2 walking down the street.

 

The point of all this: When you use “sexist” and “misogynist” to describe everything, the words lose their power. And they are important words. But if their meaning is gone, then important things that REALLY ARE misogynist, like women being unable to vote in Iran, or when people say women should not be allowed to work, or when men casually refer to women as "my b****es, go unnoticed, and piled into the “Guys holding open doors is sexist” pile. Let’s stop assuming everyone is sexist and hates women, and get back to the stuff that really matters.

 

END RANT. Hope I didn’t piss too many people off.